i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
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