I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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