walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
