I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
