I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
