i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
