Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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