he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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