guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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