Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
