But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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