do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
