he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
