I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
