the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
