So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
