singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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