Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so let's talk penis.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
