Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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