Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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