She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
