I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
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