yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We need to get me chipped asap
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
