So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
