On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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