trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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