my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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