god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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