never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
