drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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