that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
