she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
