ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
