I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
