We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
