Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This is not my ceiling
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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