are you still at the devil's house?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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