Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
