opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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