Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just high enough for therapy.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
