He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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