Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
