I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
