My room smells like vodka and shame
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
