I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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