redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
