is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
