walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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