This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
