he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Randomize
