I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
